What are the set of rules to consider to support a friend who has cancer?
Here are some of the top tips given by our doctor of a cancer hospital in Ludhiana to support your friend diagnosed with cancer:
Give time to prepare yourself
- Process your feelings
Getting to know your friend has cancer can be difficult to hear. You need to take time to acknowledge and cope up with your feelings about their diagnosis. This way, it will help you to focus on your friend.
- Understand the friends perspective
Remember what it is like when you get hurt or you are scared. You think that people need to be treated in a better way. So, prepare yourself for the changes you notice in your friend’s appearance. Cancer leaves many side effects like weight loss, fatigue, and hair loss. Be careful about what to say when you are around them and communicate in a friendly manner.
Support your friend
- Take Permission
You should take permission from your friend before you visit, giving advice, or asking questions. If they say no, then then you should tell them it is perfect.
Make flexible plans that are easy to change in case your friend wants to reschedule or cancel it.
- Make plans
Do not be afraid about making plans in the future. This way, it will give them something to look forward to. This will make it easier for them to go through cancer treatment as it is long and tiring.
- Spend time to laugh
When needed, you should spend time having fun and laugh. When your friend has a light conversation, it will take all their mind off from the stress.
- Give them time to be sad
You should not ignore what they are feeling or if they want to talk about a topic.
- Give them help
Many people find it difficult to ask for help. Your friend will love it when you offer them help. You can help them take care of the pet, children, or prepare a meal. In case your friend denies it, then you should not take it personally.
- Given the same attention
If you want to help your friend, then it is essential to give them the same attention. Their condition should not change your friendship in any manner.
- Keep a check on them
If you want to help and commit to doing it, then you need to keep a check on them. Follow on them and if they need help then you should be there for them.
What do you need to say?
Here are some things you can say to help show your care and support:
- I am sorry this has happened to you.
- If you want to talk, I’m here to listen.
- What you want to do, and how can I help?
- I’m thinking about you.
Here are examples of you cannot say:
- I know just how you feel.
- I’m sure you’ll be fine.
- I know just what you should do.
- Don’t worry!
- How long do you have?